Patience During Hard Times

by Suzan Njana
Wisdom&Wellness Counselor

Kizani, Dar es salaam

Kayegele Ka Mhande Jina Bulilo

Nyamwezi Proverb

We referenced this proverb for women married to excessively drunk men – which speaks of preparation bambara nuts – traditional Nyamwezi tribe food, delicious but hard, round seeds that are difficult to handle during preparation and cooking.

This wisdom served women in tough marriages with a comforting reminder that regardless of the husband’s drunk behavior, he still takes care of his family by financing for the necessary household needs. The wisdom helped in creating peace and harmony within the family by encourage wife and family members to withstand some bad behavior and hardship of the like, provided the man can support the family financially.

Due to the increased divorce rates across the globe, we all need to practice patience in our marriages because hardship will be there somehow, so instead of immediately giving up on the marriage, perhaps it is better to seek the wisdom of those who have lived through a similar situation, as they might be able to advise you on how they handled and thrived in the situation.

In Swahili:
Hali ya njugu ni ngumu, zinarukaruka na kuteleza ukizishika hata unapozichemsha kwenye chungu. Pia ni ngumu kuiva. Hali hii inamsumbua mpishi japo njugu ni nzuri sana na tamu kamą chakula.

Maana yake mtu huwezi kuacha kula njugu kutokana na usumbufu wake unapoziandaa, kwa kuzingatia njugu ni nzuri na tamu kula. Katika maisha yote na hasa ya ndoa kuna vikwazo na mafanikio, hivyo usimuache mume kwa sababu ya shida yake moja tu ukadharau mema anayokufanyia na familia yote. Badala yake shukuru na kuvumilia ndoa yenu cha mradi anakupatia mahitaji muhimu ya familia.

Wakati huohuo pata njia nyingine muafaka ya kumpeleka kwenye huduma za ushauri zinaxotolewa na serikali ili apunguxze su kuacha usumbufu alionao.

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